If I thought anyone could thrive in the real world, I would have bet on myself (and then proceeded to lose my money). My resume is not slim - I had more jobs and internships than I can count in college and maintained a good-enough GPA. I participated in plentiful extracurriculars, from being a regular volunteer at the local Humane Society to serving as the Treasurer of my university's Business Club. I was confident- no, cocky- upon my entrance to the real world. Well it's now eight months later and my ego is waving the white flag.
It's not that I haven't been able to get a job; I've had more than a few since I graduated. There have been internships, a job that I quit (after a long struggle of not wanting to be a quitter versus not wanting to be miserable every day - a decision they don't teach you in college!), and I was even let go from one position (causing me to wonder if I should have chosen a more stable degree such as accounting, rather than marketing). For some reason nothing has been "clicking" as of late - a shocking change from college, where I held jobs for years on end.
I have considered every possibility as to why I have been struggling so much. Maybe in California, no one has heard of my small school up in Washington, so the name doesn't stand out on a resume. Perhaps I am not being selective enough, and I am devoting my time to the wrong opportunities. I wondered if I should consider less attractive positions, just to get my foot in the door somewhere. Not wanting to leave any stone unturned, I pursued other occupations, thinking that perhaps marketing wasn't for me. I tried teaching, only to quit after the first day when another teacher found me curled up in the fetal position and the five third graders I was supposed to be monitoring were running rampant. I considered going to law school to be an animal welfare lawyer (you heard me), until I realized that the hundreds of thousands of dollars I would go into debt to complete law school would be difficult paying off with the career's average annual salary of $50,000 (which still may not have deterred me if I hadn't discovered that there are currently quite a few more lawyers than there are jobs).
At this point I threw in the towel and just gave up. I figured there could be worse lives I could live than one that consisted of sitting on my parents' couch all day, free-loading, watching their flat screen TV and eating Cheetos.
The day after I had forfeited to life, my friend who now lives in my old college apartment happened to mail me some residual magazines and bills and such that had been mis-delievered. I pulled out a Cosmo and flipped it open to a random page that was titled "Gap Years Gone Wrong." I had never heard of a gap year before; it sounded interesting, so I continued on to read about a girl who took a year off post-college to work on a horse ranch, simply because she loved horses. Long story short, the girl ended up having a miserable time and packed up and left early. Of course in my odd mind, the first thing I thought after I read this horror story was, "YES! GAP YEAR!"
I proceeded to complete a little internet research, apply for my visa, purchase a one-way plane ticket, and bada-bing, I'll be off my parents' couch in a few weeks living and working in Australia.
I haven't yet decided if I'm embarking on this adventure to work on bettering myself and growing up and maturing, or to do the exact opposite and desperately cling onto my youth for one more year; perhaps I will be doing a healthy combination of both. I guess I have a 20 hour plane ride to ponder this and create an official resolve. I am going to maintain this blog to chronicle my journey (because really, who has space to pack a journal when you have to squeeze all of your belongings into one checked bag and two carry-ons!). Until then, cheers mate.
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